I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
