we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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