So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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