Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
