he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Your cock deserves a montage
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
