so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
