"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
