I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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