Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
