i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
