So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
