after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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