is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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