the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize