Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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