Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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