People in love make me want to vomit
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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