He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
