Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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