yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
