Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize