PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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