I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
