you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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