last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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