I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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