The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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