Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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