the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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