Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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