i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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