I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
