i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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