idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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