right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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