Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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