There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
