Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
