you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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