Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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