What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
