Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
