when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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