escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
