ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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