am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
