I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize