So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
