My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
