and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
