OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
