Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
