I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
