I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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