Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
