The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize